December 18, 2014

Do Good for Others, But Let Them Return the Favor


One of the hardest things to do is to accept help. People think accepting help is showing weakness. Your friend offers to lend you a book or DVD and you refuse, because you don't want to inconvenience her. You refuse your friend's offer to babysit, even if you really would love to go out for the day, because you don't want them to feel put out. You might even secretly feel like you shouldn't need a sitter and should be able to handle it all yourself, baby in tow. 

 Many people are in need but are very reluctant to accept help for fear of feeling needy or a charity case. They feel like failures because they feel they should be able to take care of themselves and their families and hate the feeling of not being able to. Do you accept help willingly?

I never liked the word charity. The word charity implies a one way transaction. A person in good standing gifts something on someone less fortunate. None of us wants to be seen as unfortunate and none of us want people to feel bad for us. 

The word charity does not highlight the other side of the interaction. People love to help. People love to feel helpful and wanted. People want to be able to do the good deeds they feel they should be doing. People also hope that if they needed help that others would do the same for them. It's an exchange of love.

Letting someone help you is letting them show their love for you while you show your love by accepting their gestures.  We have a problem in our society where it is no longer acceptable to accept help. We deny people this love. I am very guilty of this. Should we thank people for letting us help? Possibly.

This is the season of charity and love. Everyone is asking for help and money and all of us are happy to do our part. I don't often ask for money but if you haven't donated to anything this season, there is a group of people that could really use some support. 

 In July, a fire in Washington consumed 275,000 acres of land destroying 357 homes as well as farmland, machines, livestock. Many of these people still don't have homes, or livelihoods. Some are still living in tents. These are real people on very hard times.They did nothing to deserve this and no amount of planning could have prevented it. Help them rebuilt and let them return the love with their Adopt-a-Family Christmas program.


You can read more about the fires and make a donation at the website, Carlton Complex Recovery.

Do good for others this season but remember to let them do good for you as well.

1 comment:

  1. I'm guilty of this myself! I love helping others, but when it comes to helping me... I'm very modest. I think I needed that help while trying to move this year. I wish I did have that help. Looking for a 2nd job here to save to be able to move - when I go through that round again, I'm going to ask for more help! It might not be bad... but it's something I think needs to be learned. Hopefully it does come easier with time.

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