This will be a very quick post as I should get right back to working on that crazy project I have for school that I am tired of doing/talking/thinking about. I know that everyone I know is tired of hearing about it. Believe me, I wish I could have a life again and spend time with my friends and family.
To clarify, this project was advertised by the professor and previous students as the project that will make you cry every night and have a mental breakdown. Well that is exactly what it is, so thank you for systematically planning depression into your students. It’s been a real joy. You have removed the ability for me to get anything done due to this anxiety that makes me want to do nothing but sleep and cry all of the time.
But no one has time for sleep or crying so we are all insomniac zombies roving around campus pumping shots of espresso into our Red Bulls. (Alternatively, I hear that another popular drink is “double brewed” coffee, where one uses coffee instead of water to make coffee.) Although I don’t drink anything but water, I was advised to pick up a caffeine habit for 2 weeks. :D The class has a "happy hour" planned the minute class ends on the 9th. I'd rather just sleep.
Things I look forward to once this project is dead and buried (November 9th 2011):
-Cleaning the House. Yes, the house is absolutely disgusting and I wish I could clean it. I would probably get more work done if I just cleaned it because it is very distracting. I should really do laundry too.
-Spending time on my other assignments. I have a lot of other big assignments but this one is huge and has been head butting the other assignments out of the way so that I am turning in a lot of subpar papers. I feel like telling my professors: “I promise you, I’m not stupid.” Anxiety is killing my brain to the point that I can’t think of names, dates, places and simple words when I need them. Professors who know me know that something is wrong but those who don’t know me probably just think that I am stupid.
-Going out of the house. I have been confined to the house and the library. I have a collection of errands I need to go on and no hours to go. Even more, I’d love to get to do something fun. Not having any fun makes living pretty crappy and probably feeds the unending cycle of anxiety.
But back to snow, I am in earnest need of getting to the library and am not sure it will be possible with this storm.
|Snow on the skylight in the kitchen.|
|Snow in the back yard.|
I know I should look at this as a time to relax and do something not school related, but I have so much to do that I constantly feel guilty when I am doing something not related to this project.Sorry about the quality of the photos, the lens on my camera got dirty at Cedar Creek so the photos are coming out a bit smeary until I figure out how to clean it.